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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884397">Not today</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_fy/pseuds/kate_fy'>kate_fy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Frozen One Shots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:27:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,163</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_fy/pseuds/kate_fy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>''And after a while, she knew deep in her heart, that she was going to be okay. Just not today. ''</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anna &amp; Elsa (Disney), Elsa &amp; Kristoff (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Frozen One Shots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644952</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been writing because I have lots of time and a very active imagination. And I thought 'oh why don't I post some things?' And here I am, starting this. Lots of one shots are to come. I don't need the pressure, makes me work slower haha but I'll try to post at least every week. And yes, the angst here is REAL. I'm sorry, I may have cried while writing it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She couldn’t remember the last time she felt fine. The last time she didn’t feel this emptiness in her chest. Every step she took felt agonizing, like she was stabbed over and over again and it never ceased. It was a pain she had never felt, something had been ripped away from her in a cruel, unnatural way and she felt sick most of the time just thinking about it. So, she forced herself to not think about it but it was impossible. Everywhere she went, every corner, every inch of the castle reminded her of what she lost, of what was taken from her and she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t find any strength or glimpse of hope to hold on to.</p><p>Her royal duties were fulfilled, she was present at every meeting, giving insight, voicing her stand. Yet everyone knew she wasn’t really there. And once in a while, a collective look of concern would be shared among the presents, yet none dare to voice it. Deep within them, everyone was fighting their own little battles, their own little demons against this unmeasurably painful situation.</p><p>‘’Anna?’’ A soft voice broke her out of her own trance, startling her. She didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. She knew the voice perfectly and while at some point of her life it brought the comfort she needed, now it couldn’t. ‘’Dinner will be served soon’’.</p><p>He spoke, still in the same soft voice, approaching her. And Anna wished deeply that he would leave her alone with her thoughts and pain. Kristoff placed his hand on her shoulder, an act of intimacy they hadn’t share in a while. He knew she needed space, she wanted space but deep down, she wanted the comfort of a person that was no longer present, that could no longer provide it to her and that was killing him softly. Seeing her walking around the castle, emotionless and somehow broken, didn’t ease his concern and only added to his also grieving heart.</p><p>And as Kristoff made his presence near her, embracing her in a warm hug, she realized how much she had craved his comfort. Soft sobs escaped her lips, unable now to control anything her body had been longing to release.</p><p>‘’Why?’’ She whispered, feeling her legs weaken, unable to support her weight any longer. Luckily, Kristoff caught her and softly sat them on the floor, never releasing the embrace, never letting her go.</p><p>‘’I don’t know’’ Kristoff replied, unable to provide an answer. He didn’t understand many things, let alone the brutality of what had happened. Images burnt in his mind, images that now only provided nightmares and wouldn’t let him rest his eyes for a second. Images that terrified him and made him sick.</p><p>And he still couldn’t forget what the past few months have become, ever since someone had entered the castle at late night, attacked the Queen and took her with him. The months that followed were heartbreaking for Anna. There were no answers, no clues, no trail to follow. And after several months of none stop search, she was crowned. They couldn’t wait any longer, the kingdom couldn’t wait. And a few weeks ago, the first real lead led them to her.</p><p>
  <em>Kristoff had gone with the group led by Captain Helvig, under strict orders of the Queen regent. The first glimpse of hope, that had Anna smiling for the first time in months. She wasn’t happy but she had faith and that was all it mattered. Yet when they arrived at the abandoned wrecked ship, days after their departure from the kingdom, they were faced with a group of mercenaries that started a battle. Soldiers were lost, men were wounded yet the only goal in Kristoff’s mind was to find her sister and bring her back home where she belonged.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A yell alerted him, making him sprint toward the lower decks of the ship where he spotted Helvig entering a chamber. He followed behind, his heart beating hard against his chest. On a corner, slumped down was the body of someone he once recognized, someone who welcomed him into the family, made him a brother - yet he was unable to move. He watched as the captain moved closer, kneeling in front of her body and checking for what he assumed was any sign of life. However, all Kristoff could see was the blood, dried and new, bruises and platinum blonde hair. He saw her purple bruised hands pinned to the wall on each side of her hair-covered face, knives stabbing her palms presumably for stopping her from using her powers. His throat tightened, bile rising.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He continued to look at her. Her feet were tied, infected cuts on them surrounded by dried blood. She was covered with some drapes and he closed his eyes, forcing his mind to stop from going to the horrible place it was sending him to. Her hair was dirty, covered also in dried blood, now turning grey from the dust.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Captain Helvig sighed, loud enough for Kristoff to hear. He shook his head, mumbling something quietly and turning around, still on his knees.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘’Get Captain Soelberg’’ He commanded to one of the soldiers standing outside the door. Kristoff locked eyes with the man, who answered the unspoken question by shaking his head slowly. And Kristoff felt himself stop breathing. He approached the captain, afraid of doing something wrong, even though there was nothing to be done wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He kneeled next to her, removing the hair from her face that was a mix of colors, from purple to bright red. Marks of abuse all over her body and he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stop the sob that left his mouth as he touched her face. Cold. She was always cold.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘’I’m sorry’’ He whispered to her. Finding the words comforting. ‘’I’ll take care of her, you don’t worry. Just rest. It’s okay, we’ll be okay’’ He continued to whisper, tears falling down his face. He removed the knives from her hands, the chains and robe. Some deep wounds were still fresh, he was certain she hadn’t been gone for long and that thought only made him sicker. If only they had been faster. And he held her for as long as he could. For him and for Anna.</em>
</p><p>Just like now he was holding his wife, making sure she was safe and protected. For the first time since delivering the awful news to her, since the moment he took her to see what was left of her sister. Since the moment she became the only member that was left of her family. This was the first time in those two weeks that she was letting herself feel under the arms of the man she loved and while she felt desperate and helpless, she felt loved and understood.</p><p>And after a while, she knew deep in her heart, that she was going to be okay. Just not today.</p>
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